THE ALADDIN : (dashi)
For all his deprived life, THE ALADDIN has dreamed of something greater; that chance came the day he got a full scholarship to Walter Academy. However, this also meant he was intelligent enough to figure that being stigmatized as a charity case would most likely restrict him from the In Crowd he's always longed to be a part of. He therefore created an elaborate fairy tale biography, giving himself the kind of background and family the others are used to, and that he thinks a likely suitor of THE ARIEL should have. The plan so far has been going better than he'd let himself hope, but he can't really enjoy it, for fear of the day it all ends. His secret makes him especially wary of THE RANDALL, who knows there's something off about him, and is intent on finding out exactly what.

Once upon a time, THE ANDY DAVIS was a sweet if slightly nerdy kid who had his fair share of friends but loved nothing more than hanging out with THE MAGIC CARPET with their toys and video games and Star Wars marathons. And then he hit puberty. But even though he's now attractive and athletically gifted enough to be considered popular, THE ANDY DAVIS is the same sweet if slightly nerdy kid who finds time between all his sports and parties and dates for THE MAGIC CARPET, still his best friend after all these years. Take note, THE ARIEL: who says you can't be friends outside of your caste level? Dating, on the other hand, might be a little harder to forgive, but that's not going to stop him from pursuing THE LAYLA WILLIAMS anyway.

THE BEAST : (cjwelles)
Nobody's ever quite sure how to describe THE BEAST, because nobody knows a thing about him. As a matter of fact, nobody can even remember ever having heard him say more than three words at a time. At once one of the most intimidating and the most intriguing people at Walter Academy, people ironically seem to be drawn to this highly antisocial recluse because of his desire to be left alone. With a Bad Boy reputation that he may or may not entirely deserve, THE BEAST is the object of many a girl's affections, perhaps because there's so little known about him that in their dreams, he can be anything they want him to be.

No one is quite sure if THE BERT is intelligent or not, since he only rarely shows up to class. But what does that matter, when you can do everything else? A jack-of-all-trades, or maybe just an attention whore with ADHD, THE BERT is known around the school for his skills in the fine and performing arts. All his free time is spent working, and it's a wonder how he even has any left over, considering how much it takes to keep up with all his extracurricular activities. But then again, maybe that's the reason he has three new jobs every other weekend. The only steady stream of income he has comes from his work as a freelance photographer/paparazzo catering to the Walter student body. At every major party, there he'll be, taking pictures and recording videos to document the highlights for the inebriated hosts who won't be able to remember a thing in the morning. He's also regularly employed by THE ALICE, THE RANDALL, and THE IAGO, to aid with their detective work, blackmailing schemes, and gossip rag, respectively.

Watch out, Quartermaster! THE BUNSEN HONEYDEW spends most of his spare time in the Chem lab (in fact, they gave him his own bench) where he spends hours on end creating this, that, or the other thing. It's unlikely that any of it will turn out to actually be worth anything, but it's still fun when he makes green goop and leaves it in random lockers. He also tinkers around with electronics, planting listening devices around campus. He finds himself often being recruited by THE PETER PAN to whip something up for his latest prank, or THE RANDALL for information that he gleans from his schoolwide bugs. Needless to say, THE BUNSEN HONEYDEW runs a nice little operation and turns a neat little profit.

You probably still have his action figure stashed away in your closet somewhere. Although he was once considered the brightest of child stars, THE BUZZ LIGHTYEAR's career came crashing and burning to a disgraceful end at the age of fourteen, once he was too old to be kid-cute and too much of a normal teenager to be cute-cute. He has since grown up quite nicely, and has desperately been trying to recapture some of his former glory. Though he'd love to believe that the students of Walter are all in awe of him, they mostly remain unimpressed, and he's been hard at work trying to turn this around, especially when it comes to THE always aloof MIRAGE. Then again, considering that with anyone else, he would have given up and moved on by now, perhaps there's something a bit more than mere ego-salvaging there.

Much like THE BEAST, THE CATERPILLAR has a reputation for being an asshole that is... well, not undeserved, but not exactly deserved, either. Neither the friendliest nor the most polite, he rarely speaks first, and tends to only respond in curt, obscure fragments, usually unable to find something he deems worthy of spending even that little of his time on. However, he became the unlikely ally of THE ALICE, who had been the only person convinced of his innocence when he was accused of a crime and eventually helped clear his name. Although he enjoys frustrating her with riddles and circular monologues (possibly unintentional side effects of his frequent smoking up with THE POCAHONTAS), he'll then drop a hint that turns out to be the key to everything. Nobody's quite sure why he continues helping her. Could it be that he wants to be the obligatory jackass to her marshmallow girl? THE POCAHONTAS certainly hopes not.

The uptight, conservative counterpart of THE ESMERALDA, THE COGSWORTH is the one who first organized the Day of Truth in retaliation for her Day of Silence, offers a contraposition to any point she brings up in class without missing a beat, and always goes up against her in debate. Although he's too much of a good boy to resort to ethnic slurs or anything more serious (like a certain few of his fellow students we could mention), THE COGSWORTH's decidedly prejudiced nature is obvious and unapologetic. However, after coming to yet another standstill following one of their infamous disputes, he and THE ESMERALDA have agreed to start trying to at least understand, if not agree with, the other side instead of merely attacking it, in hopes of reaching some sort of middle ground. Of course, everyone's quite certain that there's another reason for their change of heart, but neither would admit it under torture.

Coming from a family of legendary athletes, THE DASH has always been desperate to prove himself, but has never been taken seriously because of his (inexplicably) slight build. But hey, athletic ability isn't measured by mass alone, and great size doesn't always automatically lead to great talent. While even he admits that he will never become a football star, he's proven that he can more than hold his own in track, speed skating... and the dance team. And if you're one of the many who think that a male dancer must automatically be gay, you might want to pay more attention to they way he's always staring at his frequent partner, THE TIGER LILY.

Much like a male version of THE MEGARA, THE DAVY JONES has been burned badly by love and refuses to give it another chance. But unlike his female counterpart, who has resigned herself to a lifetime of easy, meaningless hook-ups, THE DAVY JONES has decided to take out his anger and pain on the rest of humanity by making everyone else as miserable and disillusioned as he is. He's a frequent third player in THE LIGHTNING and THE PEG's relationship games, though he's not in it for the ego-boosting thrill like they are: since he didn't get his happily ever after, he won't let anyone else, either. THE DAVY JONES is such a downer to be around that even THE LIGHTNING and THE PEG don't like spending more time with him than they have to. But of course, THE LOTTIE misses the point completely, and thinks she'll be the one to mend his poor wounded heart.

THE DODGER : (hamilo)
Why should you worry? THE DODGER never does. Though he's never exactly had an overabundance of money, brains, or talent, he's always managed to get by -- not to mention get into the prestigious Walter Academy, much to the confusion of plenty. He claims he flirted his way through the admissions board, and for all anyone knows, that's no exaggeration. As a matter of fact, the only one he's ever failed to charm into complete emotional submission is THE GISELLE, his former forbidden golden girl crush and unlikely new lunchtime companion. And sure, it's great being her friend and sure, he'll help her out if she asks, even if the help she's asking for is to get her back with her asshole ex-boyfriend. But wouldn't everything be so much better for all parties involved if she could just see what's been right in front of her all along?

Cheer up, emo kid. It seems THE EEYORE always has something to be moping about, whether it's the rain, the government, or the lack of comments on his latest MySpace pictures. A born pessimist, he always steels himself for the worst; this way, he believes, he's never disappointed, and any surprises are good ones. This defense mechanism of his makes it difficult for him to find any friends who are willing to stick around for too long; it's considered an epic achievement to remain in THE EEYORE's company for more than five minutes without either getting severely depressed, or bashing his head in out of annoyance. However, THE DORY is all too willing to tend to his emotional wounds whenever he cries for her. He has a bit of a crush on THE MULAN, if only because he knows it's utterly hopeless.

Much like a less flamboyant version of young Lily van der Woodsen, THE ERIC prefers to blow off his wealthy family's snooty high society gatherings to follow around the newest, coolest local bands you've never heard of. Music is the most important thing in his life, and there isn't room for much else, least of all the parades of girls his parents are desperately trying to marry him off to. Family, lineage, and inheritance are very important things to them, and if he keeps standing up every decent debutante in the tri-state area for some underground concert, he won't have any acceptable prospects left. Far less picky than his parents, THE ERIC has a habit of falling for the performers he sees onstage; unsurprisingly, he's crushed on THE ARIEL, THE AURORA, THE TIGER LILY, and half the cast of every musical that Walter has put on. But ever since he met and befriended THE ROWLF, he's been wondering if there's another reason for his disinterest in all the would-be brides his parents are pushing on him.

The core members of THE SCAR's entourage, THE FLOTSAM AND THE JETSAM are the male counterparts to THE SI AND THE AM, with a few notable exceptions. For one, they aren't ambitious enough to bother plotting to overthrow their leader. (Besides, if usurping popularity had been what they were really after, they would have befriended THE PRINCE CHARMING instead.) For another, they're allowed to be less secretive about their dastardly deeds. Think of them as the Sebastian Valmonts to the girls' Kathryn Merteuils: people know they shouldn't trust them, but they can't help that THE FLOTSAM AND THE JETSAM are just so damn charming and sleazily persuasive.

Every concerned parent's worst nightmare come to life, THE FLYNN RIDER comes from a bad family, is far too charming to be trusted with your daughters, and perhaps worst of all, wastes all his natural brains and potential on devising new and brilliant plans to get in and out of trouble instead of focusing on school or work or any sort of real responsibility. The only thing he ever took seriously was having a good time until he met and fell for THE DUCHESS, though there's no telling if this is really love or just a temporary infatuation with a unique challenge. But he's not such a bad guy once you get to know him-- or at least he's not a malicious one. And try as he might to deny it, there's a definite romantic lurking deep inside him somewhere.

As far as THE FROLLO is concerned, everyone else at Walter Academy is going straight to the thirteenth circle of Hell, with maybe the exception of THE CINDERELLA and THE URSULA (oh, if only he knew). Smug and self-righteous, he's sure that nobody in the world could be as good as him, and makes sure to follow every rule in the Book and be the very best Christian he can be, except maybe a few of those footnotes on being forgiving and loving your neighbor. He fits just about every negative stereotype of the conservative religious fanatic: elitist, misogynistic, and outspoken to an obnoxious degree. But don't make the mistake of assuming he's ignorant as well; he's very intelligent and well-read, and will argue with you until you're forced to run away crying from the debate. THE LUMIERE has been making himself a regular annoyance in his life, trying to get a rise out of him by tempting him with his unholy fornicating ways. But considering THE FROLLO refuses to even kiss a girl until he gets married, snowball's chance in hell of that ever happening... Right? Besides, he knows of THE LUMIERE's antics, and that he's nothing more than a joke and a challenge.

All hail the reigning Asshated King of Walter Academy. THE GASTON is the embodiment of the worst of every inexplicably popular asshole ever. Often amusing himself at the expense of others, he isn't quite as widely loved as he loves to believe. Does he care? Not in the least, as long as people remain intimidated enough for him to stay on top. To his credit, he does seem to have a strange sort of charisma that makes people forgive him for even the crudest and cruelest remarks, just for the privilege of being near him. Having ruined THE MEGARA and exiled THE JACK SPARROW, his greatest victory, he hopes, will be conquering THE CINDERELLA.

He may spend all his time helping the dreams of his fellow Walter Academy students come true, but don't ask THE GENIE what his own wishes are, because you'll never get a straight answer. A sweet, quirky boy who helps everyone else before even thinking about himself, THE GENIE resists any and all efforts of others who try to do the same for him, claiming that making others happy is the only gratification he needs. He's currently putting on a brave face and helping longtime friend THE RAY win over THE GEORGETTE. When fellow hopeless romantics THE LOTTIE and THE PRINCE EDWARD noticed that he wasn't his usual chipper self in a rare moment of perception, THE GENIE told them that it was because he also had a thing for THE GEORGETTE, and begged them to keep it a secret. But the one he's really pining after is THE RAY.

Maybe he's not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but oooh, look how shiny! Twin and foil of THE VIOLET, THE HERCULES is the token pretty dumb jock. All his life, he's been told that his looks, his talents, and his popularity are the only things he has going for him, and he sincerely believes it, despite THE JESSIE's efforts to make him see something more in himself. Although they've shared a mutual attraction for quite some time, he still can't own up to liking her, out of fear of what going out with such a reject would do to his own social standing. Although generally sweet and well-meaning, he's often compromising himself for the sake of his peers, and resents them all a little bit more every day.

For what it's worth, THE HOPPER is easily the most intimidating of THE GASTON's minions. Since he's considered more credible as a threat, that might be why THE GASTON keeps him at arm's length, preferring the safer, non-usurping confidence of THE LEFOU. Secretly, THE HOPPER doesn't think he has much to worry about: he only terrorizes the underlings to assert his place at the top because he doesn't think he has much else to bring to the table. He's obsessed with image and reputation, and secretly envies those who live outside the high school caste system, like THE BO PEEP, his longtime crush. Formerly off-limits because of the claim on her by then-friend and golden boy THE JACK SPARROW, she's currently off-limits thanks to her newfound status as a social pariah. Being the mature guy that he is, THE HOPPER deals with this by constantly tormenting them both.

THE IAGO : (rilli)
Nobody would suspect this silent, unassuming boy to be the mastermind behind the most vicious gossip rag on campus. Therein lies his genius. Much like THE VIOLET, THE IAGO is able to pick up on things because he's so easily overlooked. However, he would much rather use his skill to ruin the lives of those who have tormented him all his life than to write some sentimental prose. His vindictive nature won him the favor of THE RANDALL, who trained him as his secret protégé. But it seems that now, being a secret is no longer enough. While THE RANDALL made himself known and is feared enough to be considered popular-- or at least powerful-- THE IAGO remains an anonymous source and is getting none of his deserved glory, let alone even a proper show of acknowledgment in public from THE RANDALL. Lately, he has been entertaining thoughts of betraying his so-called mentor and instead siding with his rival, THE ALICE. Whether her ambition will be tempted enough to resort to his less-than-honorable methods remains to be seen.

Everyone knows of THE JACK SKELLINGTON, whether any of them realizes it or not. A brilliant visual arts prodigy, his works are displayed all around the school; if you're blind and somehow missed seeing them, you might know him for the rumors his manic tendencies generate. His fondness for dark clothing, dark humor, and the kind of "dark" music that you'd never hear on MTV often lead many to regard him as some sort of an idol, and attempt to be like him rather than their bubblegum-pop peers. He rather despises the unwanted attention, and generally ignores everything outside his own little world.

Charismatic, eccentrically brilliant, and the former golden boy of Walter Academy, THE JACK SPARROW was driven out of the In Crowd earlier this year by THE GASTON, following a scandal of epic proportions. Although he realizes it's going to be quite some time before he will be forgiven for his previous antics-- especially by his rather considerable number of exes, among them THE QUEEN GRIMHILDE, THE ARIEL, and all three of THE BIMBETTES-- he also realizes that the masses are growing more and more disgruntled under THE GASTON's bordering-on-tyrannical rule, and plans to take advantage of this to simultaneously overthrow his former second-in-command, reclaim his throne, and perhaps even win back the heart of his most recent ex-girlfriend, THE JASMINE, whom he now believes to be the One. Despite all that's happened, THE JACK SPARROW still has a rather large, if highly secret, fan club. Surprisingly enough, though, this self-proclaimed hopeless manwhore is not paying (much) attention to them in his attempt to prove to her that he's changed-- and really, really means it this time.

Think THE SALLY CARRERA, but in reverse. Once upon a time, THE JAMES NORRINGTON was the king of the golden boys of Walter: popular, charming, bright, and chivalrous enough to give THE PRINCE CHARMING and THE KOCOUM a run for their money. But somewhere along the way, everything changed, and now this good boy gone bad is better known for being surly, causing trouble, and showing up drunk to class, if he shows up at all. His apathy is so overwhelming that he doesn't even seem to notice that his ex-girlfriend, THE JANE, still wants him back.

He may look intimidating and his friends may be terrifying, but THE JAMES SULLIVAN is really a big old softie who just wants to be loved. Although he'll skip the occasional class to partake in the occasional misdemeanor, his bad boy reputation largely came about with his friends getting into trouble, and him getting blamed by association. Though he usually doesn't mind, the company he keeps is now keeping the company he seeks away. Prior to her departure, THE SALLY CARRERA had been a regular hook-up of his, and somewhere along the way, had become much more than that. But now that she's back and trying to be good, she refuses to be seen or associated with him, saying she got over her bad boy phase and isn't interested in another fling, and walking away before he even has a chance to explain that's not what he wants at all. Someday, he's going to be able to get her to talk to him long enough to see that he's serious about her, and always has been. But for now, he'll settle for pining from afar, and bullying her new and only friend THE WILL TURNER for no apparent reason. Fortunately (for his tormentor, at least), THE WILL TURNER is used to this kind of treatment from guys like him, and doesn't think it anything out of the ordinary.

The daredevil best friend and frequent co-conspirator of THE PETER PAN, THE JIM HAWKINS dreams of high adventure, excitement, and maybe a time machine, since it seems like there just isn't any more of that kind of thing in the modern world. Or is it just Elias that's the problem? He vows that someday, he'll get out of this nowhere town and never look back-- much like his estranged father did years ago. For now, he'll settle for drag-racing THE JASMINE, and flirting his way out of trouble with THE PENNY, his designated peer advisor. She, on the other hand, is steadfastly ignoring his efforts, only wishing he could see that making a few mistakes once in a while doesn't make him a total failure to be disregarded.

Often known as the great mediator and voice of reason within his group, many people have questioned THE KERMIT's sexuality, convinced that he's too nice, understanding, and emotional to be completely straight. Whether he is or not is hardly relevant, however. THE KERMIT simply lives by the golden rule: treat others the way you want to be treated. He can't understand why people take advantage of this kindness, though, and he's prone to ignore his moping over it by trying even harder to help everyone else with their problems.

Safe and always reliable, THE KOCOUM is the minivan of boyfriends. Making potential mothers-in-law swoon has never been a problem for this born-and-bred gentleman, who is handsome, well-mannered, entirely deserving of his popularity, and everything that fairy tales had always taught girls to want. However, few teenage girls want a minivan to keep for the rest of their lives from the moment they start driving, even though they know it's the logical choice they'll probably go for eventually. Although he's hopelessly infatuated with his current girlfriend, THE LADY, she's been getting bored with how predictable even his "romantic surprises" have been getting, and would be endlessly grateful for just one little argument that could escalate beyond him saying, "No, you're right. I'm sorry." His friends, having been burned by THE PEG before, are trying to warn him about his unlikely new acquaintance. However, a firm believer in the goodness of people, he refuses to listen, only tirelessly defending her to them.

Shallower than a wading pool, THE KRONK's greatest mission in life is to become a professional modelizer. It's a good thing he's just as beautiful as the girls he pursues, and that they're so easily infatuated (or, in THE MEGARA's case, so apathetic), because he'd never get anywhere otherwise. A charm school honor student and an infamous serial flirt (with testimonials readily available from THE ROXANNE, THE KIM POSSIBLE, and THE QUEEN OF HEARTS), the only girl he's failed to win over is THE BELLE, who sees right through him and despises how empty his pretty little head is. Of course, this only makes her all the more fascinating to him. It's starting to occur to him that maybe he's not just playing a game with her anymore. But can a leopard really change his stripes? Wait, that's not right...

Nobody's quite sure how THE LEFOU managed to weasel his way into THE GASTON's good graces, much less the position of the Best Friend. Maybe it's because he's just as loud and obnoxious, but not nearly as charismatic, making him a good sidekick and one-liner set-upper without being a threat to the monarchy. On the verge of creating a fan club, THE LEFOU is vaguely reminiscent of Peter Pettigrew; the fact that Peter eventually betrayed his best friend is not completely lost on THE JACK SPARROW, who is currently plotting an overthrow of THE GASTON. However, some secretly believe his mindless devotion is a bit deeper than it seems, if you know what they mean.

He may be attractive, rich, and even smart if you're into that kind of thing. But THE LI SHANG doesn't have mobs of would-be friends knocking down his door, because he also happens to be the son of the dean. Rather than a well-connected partner-in-crime you can count on to get you out of trouble, he's more of a well-behaved stickler for the rules who won't hesitate to turn in anyone for misbehavior. Needless to say, he's not exactly popular amongst the partying elite of Walter Academy, and many are convinced the boy doesn't even know how to smile, relax, or enjoy life in any capacity. However, though THE LI SHANG is understandably slow to open up to others, he's also a fiercely loyal friend once you get past his defenses, as THE KOCOUM and THE MARY POPPINS can tell you. And he's plenty fun, as long as there aren't any rules being broken in the meantime.

Perhaps more flamboyantly promiscuous than THE KRONK, THE PEG, THE (former) JACK SPARROW, and all three of THE BIMBETTES combined, THE LIGHTNING's infamous serial flirting doesn't have nearly as much to do with the girls (or boys) as it does with himself. He's not looking for an actual relationship, just someone-- anyone-- to adore him. A charismatic performer, he's not ashamed to admit that everything he does is a show, and that every show he puts on is only so he can bask in attention. The latest on his list to convert to his army of fangirls is THE prim and proper LADY. It's no fun without a challenge, after all.

Put THE JAMES SULLIVAN in a High School Musical-esque situation, and you might get something like THE LOUIE. People run and hide from him when he stalks down the halls with his bad boy entourage, but all he really wants is to be in a band. Specifically, something like the jazz or marching band at school rather than a grungy rock band that might at least be considered acceptable by tough guy standards. His passion for music led to a highly unlikely, highly secret friendship with THE ROWLF-- so secret, in fact, that THE LOUIE still joins his friends in tormenting THE ROWLF whenever there's a crowd around. Meanwhile, THE KELSI NIELSEN sits by watching helplessly and thinking if he can't even be friends with THE ROWLF, he'll never date a girl like her.

Take THE QUEEN OF HEARTS' penchant for dramatics, add THE LIGHTNING's promiscuity, and multiply by flamboyance to the nth degree, and you might get something resembling THE LUMIERE. But unlike THE QUEEN OF HEARTS, he realizes that his life is pretty great, and coasts by on laid-back charm. And unlike THE LIGHTNING, who doesn't care who's fawning over him as long as someone is, THE LUMIERE chooses his victims deliberately. Very comfortable with himself and his sexuality, he's particularly a fan of flirting with insecure straight boys who resort to homophobic comments and insults to deal with themselves and all their questions. The latest of his targets is THE FROLLO, the uptight, self-righteous Bible-thumper who has been completely unaffected thus far. But THE LUMIERE is just as stubborn as he is, and won't give up until he at least makes him sweat a little. It doesn't hurt that under all those high collars and sweater vests, THE FROLLO is pretty damn cute.

Quiet, awkward, and socially inept, it's no big surprise that THE MAGIC CARPET is rarely if ever able to make a positive first impression, especially among the more discerning of his schoolmates. Luckily, that's never been a problem for THE ANDY DAVIS, who's been his best friend since before things like popularity contests mattered and who knows that once you break through his shy exterior, THE MAGIC CARPET is the kindest, most loyal friend you'll ever have. But even if he doesn't care about what people have to say about them, it doesn't stop the people who don't understand the close relationship between the popular golden boy and the weird kid in the corner from speculating that there might be something more there-- which THE MAGIC CARPET fears might be starting to come true.

All his life, THE MARLIN has dreamed of being a comedian. Unfortunately, he just isn't that funny. Not when he's trying to be, anyway, though many are not ashamed to admit that they get a huge laugh out of watching him embarrass himself with his lame jokes. It's really a shame he can't realize that where his true talents lie are in the more serious dramatic pieces he yawned through in theatre class. For what it's worth, his earnestness alone might be enough get him through whatever back-up plan he has in mind for himself. This kid refuses to ever give up.

THE MAX GOOF : (toslate)
All THE MAX GOOF has ever wanted is to be cool-- cool enough for BIMBETTE #1 to notice him, especially. But try as he might, he just can't seem to escape the inherent dorkiness that automatically draws in such socially undesirable acquaintances as THE BUNSEN HONEYDEW and THE JESSIE. His best friend is THE LAYLA WILLIAMS, who's never been as into petty things like popularity contests, so how ironic is it that she's the one with A-lister THE ANDY DAVIS hanging all over her? And is THE MAX GOOF only jealous over her rising social status, or is there another reason he's so resentful of the guy stealing away all her time?

Having been homeschooled for most of his extremely sheltered life, THE MIRROR never entirely familiarized himself with the politics of high school. His childlike tactlessness makes him as many friends as enemies, with the two groups often overlapping. Want to know if you honestly have a chance with that cute boy in class, or if your friends are being overly nice about your strange new haircut? Ask THE MIRROR-- he'll give you the complete and painful truth without even realizing what he's saying might be offensive. As a matter of fact, were this genuinely well-meaning boy to know that he was hurting anyone, he'd be the most miserable of all. Although he's usually upfront about everything, right down to any and all crushes he might form, his latest infatuation with THE LILO seems to be the first thing in his life that he hasn't been able to say out loud.

Remember that kid in kindergarten who used to annoy you by repeating everything you said and imitating everything you did? Meet THE MORPH, whose juvenile sense of humor can be more than slightly difficult to take at times. It does, however, make him a valuable asset of the drama club, as well as best friend (and occasional rival) THE MARLIN's fledgling comedy troupe. Although he generally means well, or at least doesn't intend to be downright malicious, he lacks the empathy, tact, and social awareness to figure out where the line of acceptable conduct lies, often getting him into a lot of trouble with a lot of people. This is also one of the obstacles standing between him and THE ROXANNE, the only thing he's ever thought he might actually want to be serious about. Unfortunately, she seems to prefer THE MARLIN's less flamboyant (read: nonexistent) sense of humor.

THE NAVEEN : (castillion)
You'd never guess that THE NAVEEN has been groomed since before birth to be a mature, responsible adult destined to someday take over the family business, since no one in their right mind would put him in charge of a goldfish, judging from his reckless partying ways. Needless to say, the best laid plans of mice and men often go horribly awry, and are eventually sent off to boarding school in a desperate last-ditch attempt at straightening out. But as anyone has stepped foot inside Walter Academy can tell you, this isn't exactly the best place in the world to learn how to act like a real person. Even the rumor that his family may be losing his fortune-- or at least cutting him off from it for the time being-- doesn't seem to faze him. After all, money is only one of many possible means to an end, and there are all sorts of ways to have fun and get into trouble on a limited budget, especially if you're cute and charming enough to befriend a lot of rich, bored people, which THE NAVEEN certainly is.

Having been in accelerated programs all his school life, THE NEMO is the newest and youngest person in his grade, and feeling very much like a tiny fish in a hopelessly big ocean. Luckily, THE TINKERBELL and THE POOH pounced on and adopted him on his first day, and his fan club has grown throughout the school, with even the most popular, snobby girls forgetting themselves and smiling at him. Although he still feels a bit lost sometimes, and has yet to find his niche, he's sure he'll get there someday. For at least the foreseeable future, he's resigned himself to being the Cute One; he tried out the Asshat route for all of ten seconds before it was unanimously agreed that he was far too sweet to fool anyone.

Everyone is incredulous upon discovering this unapologetic slacker is a scholarship student, but everyone is always proven wrong. THE PETER PAN's troubled home life forced him to grow up a bit too quickly (though few ever see this mature side of him), and his childlike love of constantly wreaking chaos and causing trouble seems to be his way of dealing. Never having had much of a strict moral guideline, being at a school like this is going to be something entirely new for him. Although he's aware that he really should be taking advantage of this incredible opportunity, and studying to his admittedly brilliant mind's content, he'd much rather spend his time trying to coax a smile from THE MEGARA.

THE PINOCCHIO : (tiptoc)
Adopted by a wealthy couple unable to have children of their own, THE PINOCCHIO has been spoiled for as long as he can remember, but has resolved to remain unsatisfied with his charmed life until he has tracked down his birth parents. His foster parents have always been upfront about the fact that he's adopted, unintentionally giving him a bit of an identity crisis: he doesn't know who he is or where he belongs. This may be why he's so into theatre. One could argue that the only thing he's better at than acting is lying, but then again, perhaps the two are one and the same. Although he has never really had a reason to lie, as he always gets whatever he wants, he childishly enjoys the small sense of power it gives him. He makes a game out of seeing just how far he can push, and how much he can get away with, lying about everything-- right down to what he had for breakfast. This unnerving habit was what finally made his last official girlfriend, THE FAIRY GODMOTHER, dump him, though it's easy to see she's not quite over him.

Like THE QUASIMODO, THE POOH won't be winning any beauty contests any time soon. However, this oversized, overstuffed teddy bear still manages to win the heart of everyone he meets. Everyone's best friend and comfort object, he's just as sweet to THE URSULA as he is to THE QUASIMODO as he is to THE TINKERBELL, to whom he refers as his "bestest friend of all". Just as she hopes against hope that THE fathomlessly shallow KRONK will somehow acquire a few brain cells and finally notice her, he in turn is patiently waiting for the day she realizes what a great relationship they have, despite his less-than-swoonworthy face and more-to-love physique.

Really, need we say more?

It's no surprise that THE PRINCE EDWARD is best friends with THE LOTTIE, considering they have just about everything in common: they're both attractive, wealthy, popular, and burdened with an unfortunate habit of falling in love with everyone they meet. Having spent their entire lives trying to help each other find the perfect fairy tale romance, they think he's found his with THE CRUELLA DE VIL, and are trying their goshdarned hardest to win her over. But while she may be as beautiful as the stories say the princess should be, her hard-hearted ambition and unapologetic bitchery lie in stark contrast to his bubbly friendliness and laid-back optimism, and she's stubbornly refusing to be wooed, no matter how hard he tries. Never fear, though: everyone else is convinced that his real happy ending lies with THE LOTTIE, anyway.

Think chivalry is dead? You've obviously never met THE PRINCE PHILLIP. Like fellow golden boys THE PRINCE CHARMING and THE KOCOUM, THE PRINCE PHILLIP strives to be kind, polite, and well-groomed at all times. But while the others may be content to just stand around, look pretty, and wait to see an old lady crossing the street to offer help, he goes out and finds that old lady himself. Hero complex, overly romantic imagination, delusions of grandeur, call it what you will: THE PRINCE PHILLIP is always on the lookout for damsels in distress to rescue. But while his intentions may be noble, his efforts are often unappreciated because he'll try to save someone who doesn't need or want to be saved, such as THE MEGARA or THE BELLE. Unsurprisingly, he's a peer advisor alongside THE KERMIT and THE PENNY. She harbors a bit of a crush on him, though it's hard to tell if it's actually the boy himself that she likes, or just the idea of finally having someone she doesn't have to take care of, who might even be able to take care of her instead.

Easily considered the lowest of the low on the social hierarchy at Walter Academy, THE QUASIMODO seems to be proof positive that nice guys do, indeed, finish last. As sweet and pure-hearted as he is physically unsightly, he's often the butt of cruel jokes he never quite understands. He has an unfortunate habit of falling desperately in love with anyone who shows him the slightest amount of compassion, since it's such a rare thing for him. The latest subject of his (surprisingly good) love poems? THE AURORA.

Someday, he's going to be a Pulitzer-winning journalist; for now, THE RANDALL settles for being one of the most feared students at Walter Academy. He knows everything there is to know about everyone, and it's a safe bet that his popularity is due more than just a little bit to some convenient pieces of blackmail. Although he isn't really a user himself, he's also known for always knowing who has what available, and for how much, dropping a few casual remarks in the presence of those with the money or the favors. Wanting to believe in his own reputation of untouchability, he hates to admit to anyone ever getting to him, but he's starting to get more and more intrigued by THE VIOLET, if only because she's such a mystery that even he can't seem to figure her out.

Just call him Cameron James. A hapless geek and a hopeless romantic, THE RAY has just experienced love at first sight with the arrival of THE GEORGETTE to Walter's fine campus. Or, at least, so he claims. The fact that he can't even get close enough to her to introduce himself doesn't detract him from his daydreams of happily ever after, though his more cynical (read: realistic) friends try to gently point out that a one-sided attraction is hardly solid grounds for a healthy relationship. But all great love stories have to start somewhere, right? And with best friend THE GENIE by his side and always ready to help, THE RAY is sure that he and THE GEORGETTE will be registering for their wedding by the end of the school year.

Think you're in love? Don't let THE ROBERT find out. He's anti-romance, anti-relationships, anti-Lifetime, you get the idea. Girls are wary of their boyfriends spending too much time with him, as he has a reputation for ruining relationships by talking guys out of love, or into drunken hook-ups with other girls. Initially, he was doubly disapproving of the match between friend THE PINOCCHIO and his latest and extremely unlikely object of flirtation, THE MADAME DE LA GRANDE BOUCHE, not only because it was a match at all but also because it was with such a reject. But now that he's been spending more time with them both to drive them apart, he's starting to see her unusual charm as well. Could THE ROBERT be about to break his own biggest rule? Luckily, he has a great distraction in his friends-with-benefits arrangement with THE MEGARA, the only person who's as reasonable, i.e. cynical and sarcastic, as he is. However, things might get more complicated, if she ever owns up to maybe kind of sort of developing feelings for him.

THE ROBIN HOOD : (aldou)
Like any other good little suburban boy, THE ROBIN HOOD is restless and discontent with his CW-perfect life. Unlike most others, however, he's actually trying to do something about it. Running an anonymous pirate radio program à la Pump Up the Volume, his late-night sociopolitical rants have made him a celebrity. Some hail the unknown voice a revolutionary, others an unoriginal sensationalist; the point is, they're all thinking about what he's saying. Smarter than most expect him to be, THE ROBIN HOOD is the only one who's figured out THE VIOLET's secret-- possibly because he's leading a double life, as well.

No one puts the hopeless in "hopeless romantic" like THE ROGER RABBIT. Though he was made the laughingstock of the school when ex-girlfriend THE SCARLETT was caught sneaking around with THE JACK SPARROW -- and turned around to dump him first before he could even process what was happening -- all THE ROGER RABBIT cares about now is winning his prodigal girl back. An eternal optimist who never lets anything get him down for long, he's convinced that if THE SCARLETT could just see that he forgives and still loves her, and cares about her the way THE JACK SPARROW never would, she'll come running back and live happily ever after. Jury's still out on that one, but with THE GENIE, THE ANNA, THE FAIRY GODMOTHER, and THE KERMIT on his side, what could go wrong?

Xander and Cordelia. Lonely Boy and Queen B. THE RON STOPPABLE and THE QUEEN GRIMHILDE. The out-and-proud nerd and the gorgeous-but-evil ice queen have little in common except their hatred for each other, or so they claim. But as much as he hates to admit it, THE RON STOPPABLE has been finding himself more and more intrigued by her, and is even starting to believe that maybe he was wrong in his initial belief that she only stood for everything he despised about spoiled rich kids, Walter Academy, and the world in general. He doesn't have a lot of experience with girls to begin with, least of all ones like her, but not to worry: just as his newfound best friend THE ROXANNE was initiated into the geekdom by him, THE RON STOPPABLE is now getting lessons in Understanding Females 101 from her. Let's just hope he doesn't spend as much time obsessing over his new crush as he does Star Trek. Although an undeniably bright kid, he's not the most diligent of students, and his scholarship is already hanging by a thread.

THE ROWLF : (addams)
When he's not in class, you can find THE ROWLF in the music hallway, tinkering away on the piano, trying to find a tune to fit with his latest lyrics. While he's young, he wears his heart on his sleeve and has had it broken more than once in the past; many of his songs are rumored to have been inspired by failed romances and unrequited crushes, such as THE MULAN, THE SALLY CARRERA, THE LILO, and even THE DASH. Luckily, he knows to take all this as just a part of life. He doesn't speak often, but when he does, it tends to be something philosophical. He's not an emo kid by any stretch of the imagination; he just prefers serenity to hyperactivity.

Sometimes winning is everything-- or at least it is for THE RUMBLE, who's had it with Walter's athletic department taking knocks. As if losing THE WOODY wasn't bad enough, THE TROY BOLTON's newfound passion for song and dance and subsequent neglect of his team responsibilities has added insult to injury; enough to drive a rift between the two former best friends. With perceivably little left to lose, THE RUMBLE is willing to do whatever it takes to start bringing home some regional titles again, even if it means resorting to less than honest measures. His determination is only spurred on by super-competitive girlfriend and #1 fan THE SHERYL YOAST, who loves to see him win almost as much as he loves winning. And no moral boundary is too solid to push if you're doing it in the name of love, right?

All his life, THE SCAR has been overshadowed by THE PRINCE CHARMING, his flawless stepbrother. Try as he might to hide his resentment, he can't fool THE URSULA, who as it turns out is only dating THE PRINCE CHARMING in an effort to ruin his life from the inside. Although they have teamed up to bring him down, THE SCAR still manages to retain his outwardly façade of stepbrotherly love and support. As a matter of fact, there might be a bit too much love there. Seems he can't quite decide if he wants to be THE PRINCE CHARMING, or just wants him.

Some men were destined for athletic greatness. THE SCUTTLE, however, has never been one of these men. Thus, he decided at a young age that he was going to be a genius instead. Unfortunately, he isn't all that bright, either. Luckily, his best friend, THE PENNY, happens to be both extremely intelligent and skilled at pointing him in the right direction without making it too obvious that she's the real brains behind their duo, and crushing what's left of his ego. Despite his obvious and many faults, he's genuinely sweet and an unfailingly loyal friend, always eager to lend a helping, if somewhat clumsy, hand.

While THE RANDALL's underhandedness is the means to an end and THE URSULA at least pretends to be nice, THE SID is an asshole for no other reason than to be an asshole, and doesn't bother trying to hide it. Popularity is of no concern to him, which is lucky, since he has no friends; even his fellow delinquents don't like spending too much time around him. An unapologetic sadist, he picks fights with anyone (as well as many inanimate objects) who makes the mistake of falling into his line of vision, steals everything from homework to wallets to girlfriends, and keeps a Walter rulebook with him at all times so he can cross every single one off as he breaks them. But fortunately (?) for him, his parents are either naive, apathetic, or just sick of him enough to keep donating as much money to Walter as it's deemed worthwhile by the administration to allow him to continue attending the school. THE SID doesn't particularly care about the value of education, or even losing his non-friends and barely-acquaintances, but he is relieved that he won't have to find another girl who can not only take his crap, but dish it right back as well as THE ASHLEY SPINELLI can.

THE SIMBA : (pritzker)
Intelligent, charming, and the heir apparent to one of the biggest, most lucrative companies in the world, THE SIMBA seems to have his perfect life all figured out, which is exactly what he'd love for you to believe. The truth is, he's not sure of anything, except that he doesn't want to take over the family business. Lately, it seems that everything is only out to suffocate him, forcing him to grow up when all he wants to do is enjoy being a kid for as long as possible. Even his usually flawless girlfriend, THE AURORA, has been nothing but a living nightmare as she obliviously prattles on and on about their inevitable fairy tale future. He's looking for a distraction, something new to remind him how to breathe, and thinks he may have found his salvation in THE POCAHONTAS, the free-spirited bohemian who doesn't believe in planning anything past the next ten minutes, and who seems to be the promise of everything his parents would never approve of. Though he likes to play at being fearless and self-assured, his cockiness is merely a smokescreen for his crippling insecurity. The only one who can see through his act and call him on his bullshit is THE JASMINE, his best friend, who knows all too well how he feels.

It's said that it's easier to conform to people's expectations of you rather than trying to prove yourself to be something else, and THE STITCH can certainly attest to that. Born into a somewhat infamous family of troublemakers, and having been told all his life that he could never escape from that stigma-- especially after a few honest mistakes that had stemmed from all the best intentions-- it's no big surprise that he's all but given up on trying to fit in as one of society's respectable citizens. More often than not, he can now be seen ditching class for a smoke with fellow brooding outcasts, THE BEAST and THE CATERPILLAR. But despite everything, deep inside THE STITCH still lies a yearning to simply be accepted, loved, and valued for being a good person. And if the joint efforts of THE KERMIT and THE PENNY, his peer advisors, can't help him, maybe his developing crush on good girl THE RAPUNZEL might.

Gorgeous and charismatic, THE SYNDROME can have his pick of the female student body-- and frequently does, despite his unofficial betrothal to THE DUCHESS, his parents' best friends' daughter. It's easy to write him off as a typical spoiled manwhoring asshole, and he certainly enjoys his troublemaking antics more than any proper gentleman of his social stature should. But somewhere deep down is a yearning to be loved and taken seriously. For starters, he would love to tell everyone his parents didn't have to buy his way into Walter Academy despite popular belief, which the briefest of glances at his academic records could tell you anyway. And while he claims his flirtation with THE DUCHESS is only because he knows she can't stand him and he enjoys getting on her nerves, he's secretly been in love with her since they were kids.

From his first day at Walter, THE TRAMP earned himself immediate comparisons to THE BEAST with his bad boy swagger. But as it turns out, he is much less intimidating than his counterpart: rather than brooding silently and being the Mystery Man of many a Walter girl's daydreams, he's more likely to win your heart from the back of the classroom-- when he bothers to show up, that is-- making wisecracks and giving the teacher a bad pick-up line instead of a correct answer to question #3. Despite being relatively new to the school, THE TRAMP has already joined the ranks of the many who have discovered that, hard as one might try, it seems very near impossible to ignore THE QUEEN OF HEARTS. But while he's usually the kind to make fun of spoiled rich girls like her, he finds that he's more intrigued-- maybe even interested-- than anything. Sure, he's still going to tease her whenever he gets a chance. But think of it as a (marginally) more evolved version of pulling pigtails in the playground.

Just call him Finn Hudson. As a star athlete and indisputably one of the cutest boys in school, THE TROY BOLTON should be poised to take over the social hierarchy but instead seems to be set on committing social suicide in every way he can, cutting basketball practice for play rehearsal and ditching cheerleader THE KIM POSSIBLE for bad girl THE JESSICA RABBIT. All the chaos surrounding his recent lifestyle changes just confuses THE TROY BOLTON, who doesn't understand why no one else can see the obvious: that he's just a nice guy who wants to be taken seriously by someone who acknowledges there's more to him than meets the eye. Now that he thinks he's found that someone in THE JESSICA RABBIT, at the top of his list to win over is THE TIANA, his would-be girlfriend's cautious, critical best friend.

He's a time study man, and a time study man can't waste time. Perhaps taking the phrase "time is money" a bit too closely to heart, THE WHITE RABBIT meticulously schedules his life down to every last second. A valuable asset to the student government, as well as just about every major organizational activity on campus, he's often jokingly referred to as the one person who really runs Walter Academy, though that statement probably isn't too far from the truth. But hopefully, before he gets into a position of any serious power, he'll learn to calm down and learn how to manage stress a little better. As it is, he's currently an anal-retentive, obsessive-compulsive spaz who's prone to panic attacks to rival THE QUEEN OF HEARTS' if even the slightest thing goes wrong. Maybe this is why he has a bit of a thing for THE EVE, the only person who doesn't insist on giving him a mental breakdown on a daily basis.

This boy is handsome, brilliant, and charming-- at least, he is in his own mind. The sad truth is that despite all his heroic attempts to change himself, THE WILL TURNER is still very much the same socially inept klutz who was always picked last in gym, never received any valentines, and couldn't get his foot out of his mouth to save his life whenever a pretty girl was around. Luckily, many of these girls have now come to find this dorkiness cute. But for the most part, they still only use him as a shoulder to cry on, or a "bodyguard" (albeit an extremely weak one) against the bigger, smoother boys they pretend to despise but always end up going out with, anyway-- chief among them THE GASTON, the greatest of his former tormentors. Like a (slightly) more masculine version of THE FAIRY GODMOTHER, THE WILL TURNER has resigned himself to playing the role of Matchmaker, setting up his best girl friends with boys they lust after but always get crushed by, and waiting for the day that one of them comes to him for something more than a pint of ice cream and a chick flick.

Just call him Jason Street. Not such a long time ago, THE WOODY was Walter's star football player, and one of the most popular kids in school. Everyone knew that he was destined to go far and do great things. That is, until he suffered a career-ending injury that got him kicked off the team, and subsequently exiled from the in crowd. Oblivious as he is, THE HERCULES still seems to work under the assumption that they're best friends, though THE WOODY resents him for stealing his glory, both on and off the field: not only is THE HERCULES now the hot shot athlete and all-around golden boy, but he's also caught the interest of THE WOODY's ex-girlfriend, BIMBETTE #3.